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Disclaimer: If Mary Poppins got knocked up during an impromptu lunchtime dark rite in the men's room at Lowe's by The Horned God in the earthly disguise of Mike Brady and their spawn was switched with the baby of perfectly nice Christian people who thought they'd get grandchildren someday, that practically-perfect-except-for-the-demon-spawn-part changeling would be Studdio. Studdio's a diabetic coma of sweetness and light. He fucking rainbows. His husband's pet name for him is "Dirty Whore." Studdio likes the word "fag." It gives him a boner. You either get it or you don't. To make matters worse, Studdio was accidentally impressed with a perverse Jesus/Hot Pastor fetish around the vacation bible school years, when turning the other cheek also turned out to give him a boner. Studdio is genuinely bewildered by how easy it is to offend people with amateur porn, as if they came expecting Oprah's book club. Sorry if I offend you, it's probably not my intent, but hopefully you'll know when

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